Communication skills- How to be an effective communicator

“People may hear your words but they feel your attitude”. More than what you have to say it’s about how you say it

Effective communication helps you connect to with others and improves teamwork, decision making, and problem solving. It facilitates one to communicate even negative or difficult messages without disrespecting the other party. Want to know how to improve your communication skills?

Whether you’re trying to improve communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, you can learn how to improve your communication skills that enable you to effectively connect with others, build trust and respect, and feel heard and understood.  Effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, engaged listening, stress management, communicate in a self-assured manner, and the capacity to empathize with others.

Here is a rundown of how to improve your communication skills:

1)      Be an engaged listener-effective communication is less about talking and more about listening. It’s about focusing on the tone, the tiny intonations in someone’s voice. It encourages one to understand the emotions of another. If someone is agitated, you can help calm them by listening conscientiously so the person feels understood.    

·         Focus on the speaker-body language, tone of voice, and other nonverbal cues.

·         Favor the right ear-The left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for both speech comprehension and emotions.

·         Avoid interruptions or redirecting the focus of the conversation to you-by saying something like, “that’s nothing! What happened to me is worse”.

·         Show that you are interested-Nod occasionally, smile, and make sure your posture is open and inviting.

·         Set aside judgment and provide feedback-express what the speaker’s words mean to you.  Set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a person.

2)      Pay attention to nonverbal signals-Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body language and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing.

·         Make note of individual differences- People from different countries and cultures use different nonverbal gestures.

·         Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words- Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it

·         Use body language to convey positive feelings-If you’re nervous about a situation, say a job interview, you can use affirmative body language to signal confidence. Try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake.

3)      Keep stress in check-When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misinterpret other people, send mixed or off-putting nonverbal signals. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

In situations such as a job interview or any other high-pressure situation this is how to improve your communication skills.

·         Use stalling tactics -to give you time to think.

·         Pause to collect your thoughts-pausing can make you seem more in control than rushing your response.

·         Make one point - provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your point is too long you risk losing the listener’s interest.

·         Deliver your words clearly and wrap it up with a summary-Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact.

·          Be willing to compromise and agree to disagree- meet halfway so it reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned.

4)      Assert yourself- Direct, confident expression makes for lucid communication and can help your self-esteem and decision-making. It does NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or demanding, but expressing one’s needs, thoughts and feelings in a manner that does not disrespect others

·         Value yourself and your opinions-They are as important as anyone else’s.

·         Know your needs and wants- Learn to express them without breaching the rights of others.

·          Express negative thoughts- It’s OK to be angry, but you must be respectful as well.

·         Receive feedback positively-Accept compliments humbly, learn from your mistakes and ask for help when needed.

·         Say “no”- don’t let others take advantage of you. Look for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

So the next time you find yourself in a difficult situation where your communication skills could come in handy, remember these steps. These simple pointers can help you answer the how in how to improve your communication skills.